Working Too Much

You know you’re working too much when you receive spam with the subject line

“Erection Issues Resolved!”

and you go looking for the trouble ticket.

— Keith, true story

It’ll Come Back

(before deleting an unclear email message)

“Ah, t’hell with it. ┬áIf this email message is important it’ll come back to screw me anyway.”

— Steve, Senior Systems Analyst

Moonshiner’s Daughter

“I married the moonshiner’s daughter.

“How could I go wrong?

“The moonshiner’s daughter

“Put some corn in the water

“And made me liquor all night long.”

— Hayseed Dixie, Moonshiner’s Daughter

Warning Labels

“Below you, right now: radioactive magma

“Above you, right now: hard vacuum

“Probably somewhere near you: a product with a label warning you it is unsafe if misused.”

I’ve also see this stated as

“We live on the interface between radioactive magma and hard vacuum, and there are warning labels on hair dryers.”

— Angstrom