Using Logic

<kjdavies> When I was 14, I proved to my classmates that I wasn’t a nerd.  Using logic.

<cheapy> Which was…?

<kjdavies> An ironic failure.


Working Too Much

You know you’re working too much when you receive spam with the subject line

“Erection Issues Resolved!”

and you go looking for the trouble ticket.

— Keith, true story

It’ll Come Back

(before deleting an unclear email message)

“Ah, t’hell with it.  If this email message is important it’ll come back to screw me anyway.”

— Steve, Senior Systems Analyst

Moonshiner’s Daughter

“I married the moonshiner’s daughter.

“How could I go wrong?

“The moonshiner’s daughter

“Put some corn in the water

“And made me liquor all night long.”

— Hayseed Dixie, Moonshiner’s Daughter

Warning Labels

“Below you, right now: radioactive magma

“Above you, right now: hard vacuum

“Probably somewhere near you: a product with a label warning you it is unsafe if misused.”

I’ve also see this stated as

“We live on the interface between radioactive magma and hard vacuum, and there are warning labels on hair dryers.”

— Angstrom

History is Made by Stupid People

“History is made by stupid people

“Clever people wouldn’t even try.

“If you want a place in the history books

“Then do something dumb before you die.”

— The Arrogant Worms, History is Made by Stupid People

Greased Glass

“My brain is like greased glass: nothing sticks and it’s really hard to focus on anything.”

— Angstrom, IRC

Code Maintenance

“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code is a psychopath who knows where you live.”

— Damian Conway

Creating a Vacuum

“Trying to sway him from his current kook-rant with facts is like trying to create a vacuum in a room by pushing the air out with your hands.”

— Matt Frisch

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